QUIET PLEASE — The Weekly Opine

These trucks have taken over neighborhoods. (Photo credit The Weekly Opine)

Lawn services gone wild

They are everywhere, showing up every day, sometimes even on Sunday. What began as a novelty years ago has become oppressive. It feels like an invasion. Those omnipresent lawn service trucks descend upon neighborhoods with military precision, swarming like a pack of bees. And I ask, what does it say about those of us healthy enough (and with time on our hands) who refuse to fend for ourselves when the grass is too high? As is the modern way, convenience wins, replacing natural exercise in the great outdoors.

Two things before I continue. First, I paid for lawn service prior to retiring. Corporate life included a steady dose of 60-hour work weeks so, after a while, I bailed out re: cutting the grass and hired a lawn mowing service. I recall feeling somewhat embarrassed. A healthy, 40-something-year-old man skipping out on spending 25 minutes behind a lawnmower.

However, upon retirement several years ago, I quickly cut bait with the mowing service and reclaimed ownership of grass cutting. This spring, I went a step further, jettisoning my spring/fall cleanup landscaper. Yard and patio cleanup, mulching, and planting now handled internally. It is understandable when professional assistance is required for people (not me) who own a large house sitting on an acre or more or have physical limitations. Doing spring cleanup and prep work myself was liberating therapy.

Secondly, the opinion expressed today laments the inescapability of lawn services, regardless of who is piloting the zero-turn mower. Please do not mistake what I am saying as anti-immigrant or anti-anything, other than I am anti-incessant, blaring noise. Noise that turns a retired person’s weekday morning cup of coffee on the porch into a noise-mare. Loud lawn mowers, obnoxiously loud, carbon-emitting gas leaf blowers and strangers traipsing up-and-down my block, one house to the next for two- or three-hours, ruins peaceful quiet.

Usually, my electric leaf blower gives way to the timeless broom and dustpan. (Photos credit The Weekly Opine)

Man without machines

Not counting my cars and household appliances, e.g., washing machine, I own just a few machines. My primary machine is a lawn mower. Small and inexpensive, I use my lawnmower once a week for six months each year. Other noisy tools and machines mostly lay dormant. Haven’t used my drill or snow blower in years. My svelte electric leaf blower, much quieter than the oversized behemoths favored by lawn services, gets off the bench just a few times each year.

Graceful solitude accompanies the simple act of sweeping off the patio with a broom and dustpan. It’s much easier to get in tune with nature; birds chirping, ducks floating on the nearby stream, squirrels racing up-and-down, rabbits, raccoons and occasional appearances by coyotes and foxes. Tree leaves rustling in the breeze. But nowadays, a blast of ear-splitting machine noise often spoils the unhurried thoughts passing through my mind.

Back when I employed a landscaper, I forbade him from blowing clippings off the sidewalk with his oversized, thundering leaf blower. When he finished mowing the grass I used a broom to quietly sweep the sidewalk.

Lawn services tend to go way overboard blowing clippings from driveways and sidewalks. They walk back and forth, and pointlessly back and forth again, covering the same territory for much longer than is necessary. They make numerous passes when one or two passes are sufficient.

In the same way we have Earth Day calling attention to the plight of our planet, we need a Quiet Day to call attention to the amount of gratuitous noise infecting our sense of calm. In addition to leaf blowers, examples of noise bombarding society include thumping music coming from cars and fireworks set off outside the traditional July 4th holiday timeframe and loud music in restaurants.

Is it realistic to eliminate lawn services? No. However, what should be done – and some towns are already doing this – is outlaw the use of gas leaf blowers. For example, a strict no gas leaf blowers law takes effect in Oak Park, Illinois, on June 1. This law will reduce carbon emissions. Did you know using a gas-powered leaf blower for one hour emits the same number of pollutants as 15 cars do in an hour? (Source: Environment America’s Research and Policy Center.) Hence, there is a double benefit to outlawing gas leaf blowers: fewer pollutants and less noise.

An afterthought compared to climate change, planting natives and recycling, intolerable noise should also be treated as a frontline problem.

Can you hear me?